Forever-teen studying

All reading. I’ve been reading the preparation material for the test/exams and I’m getting somewhat tired. I’ve also been lazy. For some reason I end up doing something else even thoguh I should read. Then I read a page or two and find something else to do.. The positive thing is that I do remember lot of key things (at least I think they are) and on top of that I do recall things related to the subject, old things that happened maybe 10 years ago. I hope it’s enough tomorrow at the exams. I’m bit angry at myself because I’ve been such a slob, but at least I do remember what I have read and what it was all about. Now there’s one more pile of paper to read. I will have to then check out how they are related to each other. I bet they are not chosen randomly, there must be more than just the obvious connections between the material. Iy’ll take all afternono and night and some of tomorrow morning before it’s time to get to the school for the interview and test/exams.

I am bit nervous, that’s for sure, but not as nervous as I would’ve been 10 years ago. But I’m more nervous that I would’ve been 2 years ago.. Go figure. I try to take this as a good sign and get all the energy out of the nervousness. lol

Well, I will definately post how it all went when it’s done deal. It’s going to be 2 months of waiting for the results.. I do hope they send the mail as soon as possible, because then I have few days to re-arrange everything.. I ean, I can’t really apply for new job if I’m going to school. And if I don’t get to the school, I do need a new job. Huh. Well, I have planned a 2 week vacation at the end of august, so I will have time to find a job if I need. And then it’s time to get ready for applying again. I am able to do few jobs, but I do NEED to get new degree and new line of work, otherwise I just get stuck and I don’t want that. I want to finish the changing I started. I have quit smoking, drinking, started cooking again and eating bit healthier and so on. Even my way of seeing the world has changed. I think it’s good that I have had this project now, because I will not have time to have the 30’s crisis:”I’m 30 and what have I accomnplished, I should act like responsible adult, etc. etc. jaada-jaada-blah-blah”.. Ok, I’m not that kind of guy anyway, but now that I’ve got this project, I don’t have time or the need to even think about it.

Yes, I’m going to hit the 30 in july, but I still feel like 22 in some ways. And I try to keep the dreaming and “I can do anything if I want” mentality of a teenager. lol That way I feel like I can make a difference, if nothing else, in my own life at least. And it’s something that helps when things are not going the best way they could.



About dobermann
Native Finn living in greater Helsinki area, currently in Vantaa. Still avoiding growing up, been somewhat succesful, thanks to my dogs. Passionate about music, hot rods & customs, dobermanns, motorcycles and everything I might foind interesting. I am just as boring in real life as I am in this blog. I do my best and have succeeded in it very well. Any other info, look from my posts or ask, thank you. D-Ma

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